1. Subdue self-will in a child and thus work
together with God to save his soul.
2. Teach him to pray as soon as he can speak.
3. Give him nothing he cries for and only what
is good for him, if he asks for it politely.
4. To prevent lying, punish no fault which is
truly confessed, but never allow a rebellious, sinful act to go unnoticed.
5. Commend and reward good behavior.
6. Strictly observe all promises you have made
to your child.
~ Susannah Wesley
I
found this quote within the book, Children Are Wet Cement - by Anne Ortlund.
Having grown up Presbyterian, I was familiar with John and Charles Wesley,
Susannah's sons. While working in the Church Library, I had the priviledge to
read her biography. It is difficult to read biographies of people from times
past when things were very different. It helps to see it enacted in film - but
if one has a great imagination, one can try to imagine what the author is
describing.
I
have grown very concerned with two approaches that many young mothers have
taken in parenting, both in the present and in the past: 1) Children should be
disciplined strictly regardless of gender and age, and 2) Children should be
coddled affectionately all the time, regardless of gender and age.
I
have not seen in the Bible, both Old and New, that a mother is to do either. We
are to follow God's example to us. He is not a tyrant who rules with an iron
fist, nor is He a mamby-pamby nanny who plays patty-fingers. He is just and
compassionate to all his children in equal measure. A mother is supposed to use
wisdom and discernment in her approach to motherhood. She is to show respect to
her children and assume they are growing into young adults. She is to coach her
sons to follow their fathers' example, and to be an example herself to her
daughters. She is to encourage a healthy mentoring relationship to her sons and
coach her husband how to mentor his daughter. There are stages where sons and
daughters need different things from fathers and mothers, and it takes a
cohesive partnership on the part of the parents to identify these needs in their
children, and monitor them as they mature, modifying their techniques as
necessary.
